


Meet the Parodies

by NitPickz



Series: The Parodies [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Addiction, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Attempted Murder, Band Fic, Best Friends, Dark Past, Depression, Everyone Has Issues, F/M, Gen, Mental Breakdown, Relationship(s), Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-13 02:33:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29271057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NitPickz/pseuds/NitPickz
Summary: A group of friends form themselves into a band, only they more experiment with music with some original stuff popping out here and there.However, there are complications. They may all be good friends, but many of them have problems, ranging from mentally to physically. And physically could not be more true as many of them look virtually un-human.So, prepare for some uncomfortable moments and situations going through this. Although there will be some fun in there.*Warning: Themes of addiction, depression, attempted suicide and murder. Lots of horrible situations, especially concerning relationships between characters*
Relationships: Edgar/Harriet, Jake & Adam, Mia & Harriet, Ross & Ian, Ross/Mia, Sammy & Marcus, Shaun & Edgar, Shaun/Jess, Will/Jenna
Series: The Parodies [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2175738





	1. Shaun

**Author's Note:**

> These will be told via interviews

Hello. My name is Shaun and I am virtually the ringleader of the band, The Parodies.

I've been working with my friends for almost 10 years now and I can say for certain it's been worth it.

For anyone who's curious about my appearance, I had an... incident some years ago. Without saying too much, I lost an eye and that socket contains something bad. That's more or less it.

With the band, it's mostly the eyes that get everyone's attention. Like, I'm missing an eye and the one I have left is red. Edgar is pink eyes. Ross has blank eyes. Practically everyone aside from Jake has something about the eyes. The girls usually just hide them one way or another. Sunglasses, hair, etc. Marcus hides his with his eyebrows. It's pretty funny to look at. Sammy, I think it's from all the shit he's snorted or shot up. Will... He just has David Bowie eyes.

Speaking of which, that was the main reason we had him do the Rebel Rebel video. In case you didn't know, we started out experimenting with various songs out there. Basically, we train ourselves to get the vocals, strings and beats pitch-perfect. Hell, we even trained to get the perfect voice. I think it took Will 2 months to get Bowie's voice perfectly.

I gotta say, when we started parodying songs, we thought we were gonna get sued instantly. But, after folks saw what we were doing, we just took off. We were a hit. It was unbelievable. All we basically did was re-create the songs. Faithfully doing the music and voices, but changing the style. At least in our videos. As we were rising through, we wanted to do some original work. That way, we wouldn't be regarded as "that band who just copies everything".

Our most successful song has to be "Dragon Beast". It pretty much spawned after the band had regrouped. We ended up separating a few years back, pretty much after Edgar disappeared. He left because he had a severe alcohol problem and I think he felt it was a huge burden to us.

I've been best friends with Edgar pretty much all my life and I have never at all felt he was a burden. I mean, I am concerned for his well being. We all are. But, after he left, we started to fall apart since we just couldn't continue with Edgar gone. It just wasn't the same. Everyone knew it. A month later, Will and Jenna left. They took Adam along with them. Harriet was bit of a mess. She just kept quiet and wouldn't talk to anyone. No one could blame her...

So, a few months after, Ross, Mia and Ian took off with her in tow. Then, after that, everyone else went their own ways. Marcus went off to some fishing gig. Jake moved off to Los Angeles, got into office management. Sammy, I'm not sure. I heard he was in Mexico for a time, but no one knows for certain and he won't tell us a thing. Me and Jess traveled for a while before we got a rescue plane gig in Miami. Jess is definitely good with planes.

So, for 4 years, everyone was somewhere else just doing their own thing. And then, one day, me and Jess are flying around Normandy and, down on the beach is a row boat wreck with some people nearby. So, we go in, land on the edge of the beach and open the door. And, who do we see? Ross, Mia, Ian and Harriet. We couldn't believe it. Our friends, right in front of us. AND, after 4 years. We pretty much snagged them into our plane and started flying back to the States.

For those of you who don't know, our home is this warehouse in Chicago. Don't ask for an address, 'cause we don't need fans swarming the place. And odds are you won't find it. Anyway, we're chilling in a motel in New York when we hear over the radio that Sammy's got Marcus and Jake back in business, so we decide to head back. After 4 years away from it all, we were looking forward to forming the band back. So, Jess gets us a plane to Chicago and we head to our warehouse home.

Turned out Sammy snatched Jake out of LA and had been keeping him doped up so they could still do music. From what we were told, Sammy was boasting on the radio, Marcus heard and headed over and it got really rough when he saw Jake strung up like a puppet. He was really pissed off with Sammy. Hell, we all were. So, after we arrive, we decide to inform the rest still out there of our regrouping.

A few days go by, and Will, Jenna and Adam come driving in. We start welcoming them when their car's lights go on. We faintly see one of the rear doors is open. Then, the door is closed and the lights are off. And in front of us... was Edgar. Alive and well!

I seriously couldn't believe it. After disappearing for 4 years, there he was. Turned out Will and Jenna found him on the road and he jumped into their car. And, when they saw it was him and he was still alive, they brought him with them. They also said he was extremely hesitant to return, even almost causing them to crash at one point.

But, I think that hesitance wore off as soon as he saw everyone together again. And I could not be anymore thankful. And I don't think I've ever seen Harriet more happy when I brought Edgar to her. Although, it would be a while before everyone could properly heal. But, the main thing...

We were back.

And, even after everything we all went through, I can honestly say, I don't regret ever forming the band. We still have a few issues here and there, but we stick together and look after each other. Everything's tempered down quite a bit, although some of us still need a bit of healing...

Also, the whole experience gave us quite the roster of ideas for songs. And what was the first of those?

Dragon Beast.

We were now finally pulling out our own stuff. And we still do to this day. Jess and me have been progressing quite a bit. I might ask her to marry me one of these days. Edgar stills struggles with the drink, but he's managing at the very least. Good thing Harriet's there for him. That girl can do wonders for anyone. I definitely wish both of them the best of luck. They deserve it. Hell, practically everyone deserves it.

Well, that's all the time I have for this interview. It's been something talking about all this and I hope the others can provide more than me. Maybe not Sammy, but somebody at least.


	2. Edgar

My name's Edgar and I'm one of the band's main front men. Although, I occasionally perform with guitar in some of our work. I also contribute to lyrics here and there.

I honestly don't regret joining the band. It's kinda one of those "what ifs", you know? Well, I get along with everyone in the band and most of the management crew, although we do have disagreements occasionally.

Shaun and I have been best friends since we were kids. Even after we had our "incidents". I prefer not to go into details about it. Then there's my girlfriend, Harriet. She's practically my whole world. In a way, at least. It's amazing how she's able to put up with me, especially with my problems. Hell, the entire band is able to put up with me.

Makes you think, doesn't it? I'm in my 30s and I already feel old. And... compared to everyone else... I'm a fucking mess...

And don't bother with the fucking sympathy. You know it. I know it. I'm tired, I feel like shit and I'm barely holding it together. Oh, and here's the best part!

I'M. A FUCKING. DRUNK!

Shit...

I'm sorry... I didn't mean to blow up like that...

Well... as I just pointed out, I'm an alcoholic. On and off. Tried to go clean so many times. But, every time, I failed. And I'm just so tired. I'm tired of feeling like shit every time I wake up. I'm tired of stumbling and puking all over the place. And I'm tired of bring a burden for my friends...

..........

You sure about this? Ok...

...........

My problem began, I think, in mid-2012. It was relatively minor at first, but it steadily grew until it was practically a trait of mine. After failing to abandon it on my own, we used some of our profits to get me into this clinic in Eastern Europe. Although, let's just say it didn't turn out so well and, suffice to say, that's why I look the way I do now.

All I remember exactly is waking up in my room some time later and thinking the whole thing was a dream, only to look in the mirror and scream. Then, everyone barges in and sees me. Needless to say, that was not a good day. Everyone's settled with it now, although I admittedly still have bit of an issue with it.

...........

What happened when the band split up?

Well, I was in very severe condition and there just seemed to be no hope of coming out of it. So, since I just couldn't bear being a burden anymore to the band, I ran away. And, it definitely got a lot worse. My drinking was in full swing and I was just becoming a lot more self destructive with it. During the 4 years I was away, I just snuck into vehicles, namely trucks, snatched whatever liquor I could get my hands on and just sat back and drank myself to near death.

During those times, I was spiraling well into depression. Not only because I kept drowning myself in alcohol, but I even considered suicide so many times. Slit my wrists several times, but I always ended up backing out. Eventually, the day comes and I'm walking on the road in the freezing cold and I see headlights in the distance. This time, I had full intent. So, when it was close enough, I jumped in front and get fully hit by the car. Right into the windshield and flying off the hood as the car brakes.

Turns out I was simply knocked out by the impact, because I wake up later IN the car that hit me. And inside is Will, Jenna and Adam. And they're heading back to our warehouse home in Chicago. My reaction was less than pleased about that. I pretty much went berserk and almost caused a crash. That got a rise out of Will. I swear, I'd never seen or heard him be so aggressive. Gave me quite the talking. Shut me up the whole way back.

When we finally got back, everyone else was there. Will announces us with the intercom and we're welcomed back in. The big door opens and everyone is there. That is except... her. Nowhere in sight. Anyway, Will pulls in and he, Jenna and Adam step out to greet everyone. I stay in the car for a time. Eventually, I went "Fuck it" and stepped out. When I open the door, the headlights go on and everyone has their eyes pointed at me. I close the door, the lights go off and there I am.

Right there. Silence. No one says a single word. It's just silence for 5 full minutes until Shaun comes over, stares me in the face and starts dragging me to Harriet's room. He said she's been shut in that room ever since she came back. Felt like shit... So, he demands I show myself to her once and for all, all be damned. He opens the door, says hello to her and pushes me inside and shuts the door behind me.

The room is completely dark and she's just sitting there. On the bed... She then looks at me. And what do I do...? I back into the darkest corner like a coward... Because I was too scared and ashamed to see her face again... I face the corner and stay there until I hear her get up and come towards me. She touches my shoulder... And guess what? I just cower again and cry. She then speaks to me, asking who I am. Eventually, I can't take it anymore and turn to face her.

There we are, face to face for the first time in 4 years. Must've been a sight to see. Her completely shut in and just now let out. And me, a complete wreck. I take her cap off and see her eyes. She has tears in her eyes... I expect a smack in the face, and, of course, I do. A minute passes later, and she has her arms around me, crying into my chest. I do the same. My hands around her and tears dripping onto her shoulder. We push away for a bit, then hug again.

So yeah, that was quite the experience. Can't say everything is fixed, but we're at least getting somewhere. All I can say is that getting free from the grip of alcoholism is one of the toughest things anyone can do. But I've tried it. And I still am.

Frankly, if I didn't have the band to help me, I probably wouldn't even be here now. And I'm thankful for that... I think that's enough time for this interview now. Sorry about the sob story, but that's my life for you...


	3. Ross

I'm Ross and I'm mainly a bassist for the band. And, as I think everyone knows, we all have good days and bad days.

Being a part of The Parodies is 50% the time of your life and the other 50% is just pure chaos. We definitely have some disagreements here and there. Hell, there's even the occasional fight. The upside of it for me is that I'm usually never directly involved. But, the downside is that I have to sit through it. Yeah, it can get pretty nerve-wracking.

For music, I think one of my favourites was when we did Paint It Black. We actually got a whole set to ourselves, and, by the end of the video, we got to set it on fire. Crazy stuff, but that's one of the fun things about this line of work. One of the most successful places we shot for our videos was probably India. Ton of great looking backdrops and India itself was fascinating. Wonderful culture. Although, I'm pretty sure at least one or two of the band members hated it. The best thing, in my opinion, that we did in India was the snake charmers.

We had this group of snake charmers gather up and charm snakes while we did our thing. It was basically a background thing. And it was pretty fun. I mean, it was a little uneasy at first because if the snakes, but it was fun in the end.

The ultimate failed bit was when we tried to do something with the Aghoris. They're this sect in India that go into pretty unorthodox territory. Like, they would try to smear cremated ashes onto you. Sometimes, they would get out of control and try to bite you. One of them definitely bit me. Anyway, we decided to do a rural pseudo clan thing, I'm not sure what it was. But, because these Aghoris were a bit out of control, no one went into it with a good attitude.

In fact, no one went in at all except for me, Ian, Mia and Jake. Ian was definitely a big help for the most part since he spoke Hindu. That kept the Aghoris off us for quite a bit, but it fell apart after a while. Like, they start cutting their thumbs and doing nasty stuff and Jake's just freaking out. It was just a complete disaster. And, as soon as they pull out skulls and knives and other nasty stuff, we were just like "Fuck this".

So, the Aghoris didn't work out and, right there and then, we decided no more rural shoots for videos unless we knew what we were getting into.

............

The band split... Yeah... It was bad. I mean, we already had problems before, like Sammy's.... habits... and Edgar's alcoholism. I remember once when Edgar was really, REALLY drunk and he was getting extremely argumentative and very hard to deal with, so we had to toss him out of the entire making of the Beck album, which ended up being a sleeper hit. And, yeah that was pretty bad. Not one of our strongest, but thankfully, Beck was a great guy about it.

Anyway, when we split up, it was me, Mia, Ian and Harriet taking off in our own direction. We took Harriet along because Mia and her are best friends and she would not be able to be on her own. She kept quiet a lot while she was with us. So, we pretty much just travelled through the States for a while, doing what we could. 4 years go by and we end up taking a row boat out to sea. We were about to head back when this huge wave hits us. We were lucky to still be in the boat and alive. Then, we end up in a storm. I don't remember much of the storm, since I ended up passing out during the 3rd or 4th wave.

Next thing I know, we're on a beach in seemingly the middle of nowhere. Our boat is destroyed and we're all wet and cold. We just barely managed to keep it together. A couple days go by, a plane flies above us and lands in the water. We rush towards it and we think "Holy shit, we're saved!". And then, the door opens and inside... is Jess and Shaun. After 4 years, there they were. They took us back to the States in a flash.

Some time goes by, we hear that Sammy's got the warehouse up and running again, so we decide to head home. We get there and at the warehouse is Sammy, Jake and Marcus. Then, a week goes by and a car arrives. And inside that car is Will, Jenna, Adam and Edgar. Everyone was practically shocked that Edgar was still alive. And, like that, we were a band again and the rest is history.

Nowadays, we do activities outside band work in order to keep a healthy mindset. Me, Ian, Edgar and Shaun are actually in a bowling league now. It's a great way to give yourself some peace. Jake's been working a bit more in management, so good for him. Me and Mia have been... well, getting more involved with each other more often. Things are going great. Of course, there is still the occasional problem, but not usually too bad.

Well, time's up. I'm sure Ian has some words to say. Wouldn't count on it all being nice, though...


End file.
